Book recommendations from certain friends hold varying degrees of weight. A book recommendation from my friend Katie Maxwell rarely disappoints so when K. Max suggested I check out Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison by Piper Kerman, I didn’t waste (too much) time doing just that.
HCG highly recommends OITNB. After her graduation from Smith College, Piper Kerman, bored and unsure of what to do next, engaged in a brief foray in the world of international drug trafficking (c’mon, Piper – couldn’t you have just gone to law school like everyone else?). 10 years after she smuggled a suitcase full of dirty money from Chicago to Brussels, Kerman, a very normal and well-educated thirtysomething woman living in the West Village, received a knock on her door from two federal agents with an indictment in hand. GAME OVER, PIPER.
Kerman pleaded guilty to money laundering (legal side note: the more serious charge of conspiracy was dropped) and received her sentence: 15 months in federal prison to be served at the women’s correctional facility in Danbury, Connecticut.
Kerman recounts her year as an inmate – from her last few days of freedom before surrendering at Danbury to the supportive fellow inmates who helped her survive her time inside – with vivid detail and in a relatable voice. Sure, the words “strip search” sound embarrassing, but it’s not until Kerman describes having to, after each prison visit from a friend or family member, strip naked for a corrections officer, turn around, squat, spread her buttcheeks apart and cough that you recognize just how humiliating the process actually is. Perhaps OITNB is so identifiable because Piper Kerman herself is; the memoir reads with the familiarity of an account by your friend or acquaintance who ended up in prison.
Do you think you could handle a year in federal prison? Most people think I could take it (apparently I’m scrappy enough), but we all know MR would fail terribly. She simply doesn’t possess sufficient inner toughness to survive prison life, and she has always remarked that going to prison is her biggest fear. If you ever find yourself about to serve a sentence in federal prison, READ THIS BOOK. Kerman points out that there is lots of reading material available regarding men’s prisons but very little information regarding women’s facilities. We’re hoping Kerman thoughtfully sent an autographed copy to Lindsay Lohan to help her prepare for her quick sentence in county jail.
Beware: this book may launch you into a fascination with prison-related literature, just as Anne Frank’s diary ignited an adolescent K. Max’s obsession with Holocaust reads.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
What a timely blog post. I was waiting for the L.Lohan reference, I almost missed it on the bottom.
thanks for the book recommendation HCG. My last post begged for one.
MR I feel you girl. As a child I frequently asked my mother what would happen if I was framed like Roger Rabbit or if I forgot to pay my taxes- how would I survive jail? Luckily i have somehow dodged these bullets. Also B. Ludwikowski admitted on the beach on Sunday that somehow she has found herself only reading books where child molestation occurs ..weird.
Correction: It was Anne Frank’s Diary–not Schindler’s List
A. Lud: I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did! Yes, you’ve dodged the prison bullet so far, but you never know where life can lead…
KatieMax: Thank you for the clarification – I’ve made the edit in the post. I read Schindler’s List as an eighth-grader (the school even required our parents sign permission slips), so please forgive my confusion.
HCG – did you catch the interview with Piper on the Today show this morning? She was there to offer some insight into LiLo’s future. Pretty interesting stuff.
KB: I totally missed Piper on Today this morning. Just goes to show you that delaying in hooking up a TV in your bedroom results in so many missed morning segments.
I read this book on HCG’s recommendation- it was a great read. As a side note my mother also enjoyed it.
Um- I love that MR’s biggest fear is surviving prison. Considering the amount of illegal activities MR is involved in or would ever become involved in- I think shes pretty safe.
JTS: From your lips to God’s ears…